Spiritual wellness....you're probably thinking about the contrast between being spiritual and/or religious because there is often this battle between the two. But in reality everyone is spiritual and practices spirituality in some way, everyone has an abstract being (a spirit) that they are connected to and with but just go about exploring that connection in different ways.

Spiritual wellness involves seeking and having a meaning and purpose in life, as well as participating in activities that are consistent with one’s beliefs and values. It is more than prayer and believing in a higher being. A spiritually well person seeks harmony with the universe, expresses compassion towards others, and practices gratitude and self-reflection. When we integrate practices of spiritual wellness we are able to connect in mind, body, and soul.

I vividly remember one night in college I was dealing an injury and after practice and studying I laid there feeling lost, empty, and lacking purpose. I remember thinking there had to be more to life than basketball and school. I thought maybe it was just an emotional day so continued on with my life. Growing up as a Christian I tried to be consistent with reading the Bible while I was in school because I didn't have a church in West Virginia. My mother would send me the sermon from my Pastor back home and I'd read, take note, save some of them, and try to apply the message but I still felt lost and empty as if I was just going through the motions because I felt as a Christian that's what I was "supposed" to do, walk this journey with these teachings and messages as his servant.

finding who you are is going to be constant and process that will be painful and fun but do what you love, take risks, be honest with yourself all the time and don't feel guilty about it

I reached out to someone about how I was feeling and I can remember her message as if she just sent it to me. She said finding who you are is going to be constant and process that will be painful and fun but do what you love, take risks, be honest with yourself all the time and don't feel guilty about it. As my schedule picked up consistently reading the Bible was harder to fit into my schedule I still received the occasional message from my mother but I had suppressed my feelings of emptiness, being lost, and lacking purpose for the time being. For the next couple years it was a roller coaster of the same feelings and suppressing them as my schedule got busy. I randomly started reading a book I had gotten in high school called The Shepherd by Matthew Kelly. It's a parable about our search for happiness and at the end it touched on detaching from the world for a little to just sit in silence. I started going to the chapel on campus to just sit in silence for 10 mins, no one was ever in there so it was perfect. I would silence my phone and just sit there and let my mind go, free to do whatever, think or not think and it was in those moments where I realized how persistent and real my feelings of being lost, empty, and feeling like I was just going through the motions almost feeling like a puppet with no "real" connection to this journey. I continued on with life with the mindset of I'll get through this it's just a phase.

my journey is for me and me only but I'm not the only one on a journey and I don't have to walk on my own

Basketball was over, I moved, grad school started and I was getting acclimated to a different environment. Me and my cousin had both just finished our collegiate careers so we were both going through our post athlete depression and trying to figure out how to navigate life so we really connected based on a lot of similar experiences and feelings we had encountered. We were sitting outside one night just talking and looking up at the night sky. The moon and stars shined so bright with a blaring calmness. In that moment everything was still and I felt at peace and everything felt like it made sense for once, I felt like everything was in perfect harmony for a moment just observing and being in nature. We talked about finding our happiness and our uncertainties surrounding our faith in Christianity. Christianity was all we knew growing up so having uncertainties was internally conflicting. I realized that my journey is for me and me only but I'm not the only one on a journey and I don't have to walk on my own. From that night on we bounced ideas and theories off of each other regarding nature, religion, food, money, just life but we did it more from a philosophical perspective and relating it back to ourselves and exploring it on our own journeys. Then we came across this YouTube video (The SON of GOD is the SUN of GOD!) and it just exposed me to a new way of thinking. It was educational and kinda brought some of our ideas and theories together and gave me more substance. After watching the video I began to notice how I actually have always appreciated nature but never the extent of what it meant or could mean. I got deeper into mediation and yoga (recall my post on Physical Wellness) and my experiences began to evolve. It put me in a place where I felt I could finally explore myself and not feel like I was a puppet I was able to correlate nature with Christianity. I was becoming comfortable with being by myself and knowing and learning more about me finding my purpose in who I am and what I am here to do.

There was this pressure of being this perfect Christian coming from a family of preachers, ministers, deacons, and singers that I had to have this cookie cutter persona to follow in their footsteps. Christianity made me feel constrained and living as though I was constantly living under this microscope of ultimatums. I didn't figure out how to walk on my Christian journey without feeling like my every move had some type of repercussion and living in fear of always being right or wrong for the purpose of someone or something other than myself. Not as to say I don't believe in God or a higher being because I definitely do I just go about reverencing, thanking, celebrating God, and walking my journey through nature and not feeling obligated to be apart or go to church. I didn't know what spiritual wellness was at the time but the older I get the more I grow and learn about myself and embrace this journey as I constantly evolve in my spiritual wellness.

Don't be afraid to stir up the tea in your own life; explore your own spiritual wellness by defining and exploring your values and beliefs, trying something new to discover or redefine your meaning or purpose in life, and seeking harmony by connecting your mind, body, and spirit.

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